Blog

Going 'No contact' after narcissistic abuse

Friday 5th November 2021

When beginning the healing journey from narcissistic abuse, going no contact is the first step towards beginning the healing journey. At the beginning of healing, it is not uncommon to feel absolutely broken, in pieces emotionally and confused as to the sledgehammer that has just given us this huge blow. Life as we know it will never be the same again. We thought we knew the person that we trusted, loved and had completely bonded with only to find out that beneath the surface was a monster without substance.

It is a truly shocking revelation and one that takes a certain length of time to adjust to. The sad truth is that narcissists don't change-not ever. They will tell you things that make you think they have changed (or that they are at least open to change) but narcissists are experts at telling you what you want to hear - anything to get you back as supply. The fact that they don't change is very hard to get your head around initially.

I used to believe that everyone was capable of change if you just loved them enough and gave them the support they needed

(I know, right? What was I thinking?)

Certain people will not change if they do not want to. The desire to change needs to be there otherwise moving heaven and earth for them will not make the slightest bit of difference- in fact they will probably resent you for it!

The narcissist is not who you think they are. They spend years crafting a very convincing facade that tells the world they are the picture of virtue. This makes it very difficult when instances of abuse arise. Telling a mutual friend or family member about what has been happening may be met with:

'What? That doesn't sound like them at all.'

You will come across as the one who is crazy and unhinged while the narcissist receives the sympathy and victim status they so desperately crave from the people around them.

So - we are left feeling isolated, invalidated and feeling like our self-expression has been compromised. No contact brings an end to fighting for our need to be heard and validated. Going into battle with the narcissist will only end up in projection of their behaviour on to you and blaming you for the situation.

You don't need that.

No contact gives you the chance to heal from being exposed to the cocktail of chemicals that flood your body during fight or flight episodes with the narcissist. The only way to win against the narcissist is to not engage with them. Anything else is pointless and your inner peace matters so much more.

To begin your recovery journey, join the narcissistic abuse recovery programme which is comprised of six therapy sessions tailored made for you. We discuss your treatment plan during the initial consultation and the main areas we need to focus on to begin the healing journey.

Recovery from narcissistic abuse IS possible! Creating the life you want for yourself and finding your authentic voice is possible too!

Please feel free to schedule a callback with me so we can have a chat about your current needs.

© Copyright Christina McDonald 2021