Blog

Why we need to remember to work with what is...

Friday 19th November 2021

Meet yourself where you are currently at in order to heal and take the next step. When we work with what comes up, we are able to heal at our own pace. We don't have to have it figured out all at once. Healing and growth happens when it happens. It isn't something that can be rushed. Getting frustrated with ourselves is only going to make the entire process harder. When we feel we 'should be' doing better than we currently are, we are denying the reality of the present moment. We can only work from the place we are in currently and from there, we can build on that foundation. Sometimes it may feel like you are not making a…

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How to overcome OCD anxiety by surrendering

Friday 5th November 2021

When it comes to healing from OCD anxiety, becoming comfortable with uncertainty is one of the keys to overcoming it. We cannot control outcomes depending on whether or not we perform compulsions in relation to the obsessions we have. Uncertainty is the only truth we have in this life. Over the years, I have come to realise that uncertainty can be our ally. I challenge you to think about what uncertainty means to you - is there anything you like about it or are attracted to within it? Uncertainty can be exciting and can also create a feeling of embarking on an adventure each day. Within uncertainty, there are many possibilities to be found and we may have multiple options and…

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The importance of the therapeutic space

Friday 5th November 2021

The one question that is significant for many of us is how to feel more like ourselves again and able to cope after perhaps a period of prolonged stress and anxiety, a personal loss or an ongoing health issue.  We always see advertisements and posts on social media which say something along the lines of: 'Be who you truly are!' 'Live your best life!' 'Find your authentic self!' And my personal favourite -  'Transform your life in just 3 days!' (or some other insurmountable quick time - 30 minutes maybe!) I feel tired just reading these. This puts me off and actually makes me feel like not doing anything as it sounds too intense. The last thing we want to feel when we go to a therapist…

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Living in Balance

Friday 5th November 2021

When we live in balance, we are living in harmony with ourselves which means, supporting our current needs.  There are some days I get up, make a coffee, look at my to-do list and feel like I'd rather get back under the covers again. I would imagine there are quite a few people who have had that feeling! Sometimes, we just don't feel 'in the mood.' That feeling isn't a problem in itself but we have to do things we don't necessarily feel we want to do.  That is the reality we have to accept in order to achieve our goals. Sometimes we have to be disciplined, especially when we don't feel like it.  Working with our nose to the grindstone is equally unhealthy…

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What is gaslighting? How to break the narcissistic abuse cycle

Friday 5th November 2021

Gaslighting is a very insidious form of emotional abuse which involves the denial and invalidation of another individual's reality. When this is used regularly against you as a means to manipulate and coerce you emotionally and mentally, it can make you begin to doubt your sanity and your recollection of the events that took place. When the narcissist constantly does this to you, after a while you may begin to chronically doubt yourself and how you perceive. One of the most common things that narcissists say to their partners is the following: 'You're crazy. You're overreacting. You're so sensitive. That's not how it happened.' Hearing this over and over again can potentially seriously damage your mental health and it has the effect…

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Living in Gratitude

Friday 5th November 2021

Even on a bad day, there is a reason to be happy. Many things can constitute a bad day in our minds but what can make it a good day? When we are grateful for what we have, life has meaning, simply in light of the fact that we are alive, we have our health, strength and a roof over our heads. When our basic needs our met, we have so much to be thankful for. Having gratitude for the simple things in life can really help to put our lives into perspective. If you've ever heard the following: 'You should count yourself lucky that...' you'll know how frustrating this 'helpful' comment can be... I actually have an aversion to this kind of thinking. If…

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Going 'No contact' after narcissistic abuse

Friday 5th November 2021

When beginning the healing journey from narcissistic abuse, going no contact is the first step towards beginning the healing journey. At the beginning of healing, it is not uncommon to feel absolutely broken, in pieces emotionally and confused as to the sledgehammer that has just given us this huge blow. Life as we know it will never be the same again. We thought we knew the person that we trusted, loved and had completely bonded with only to find out that beneath the surface was a monster without substance. It is a truly shocking revelation and one that takes a certain length of time to adjust to. The sad truth is that narcissists don't change-not ever. They will tell you things…

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When you feel close to giving up, remember what is possible

Friday 5th November 2021

It has been a hard year...to say the least.  2020 has been without a doubt, the hardest year of my life for many reasons one of which is trying not to lose faith in humanity and in myself. It can be very hard to keep believing in the goodness of people when so much of the world is awash with the utter derangement of world leaders, polarisation and if you have been watching the news, Tory MP's denying school children the right to free meals.  What on earth is going on?  I have wanted to quit on humanity altogether and I cannot recall a time when I felt so depressed with things. Pulling myself out of that feeling has been a struggle to…

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Building emotional resilience

Friday 5th November 2021

Sometimes life has a way of (repeatedly) knocking you down. If I had a pound for every single time I've wanted to give up, I would be a multi-millionaire (twice over!) There are no short-cuts to developing resilience unfortunately. It is the trials and hardships we go through in life that actually strengthen our resilience and the ability to handle whatever life throws at us. Since the beginning of the pandemic, I have struggled. BOY have I struggled! Did I want to give up? Absolutely, without a doubt! I am one of those people who just keeps going (like the terminator!) This hasn't always been the case though. It took years of practice to get to the point where I can get back up…

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Strengthening your reiki at shoden level

Friday 5th November 2021

There are certain things we can do as students of reiki to make are connection to reiki energy stronger so we are a more effective channel when we treat other people. The most important thing to remember at shoden level is to use the energy as frequently as you can. Practice mindfulness daily: This is where remembering the reiki precepts can come in handy: Just for today: Do not anger, Do not worry, Be honest, Be humble, Be compassionate towards yourself and all living beings. Keeping the precepts in mind can help remind us to stay present and to observe our emotions rather than allow ourselves to be caught up in them. Practice as much as you can: There are many ways we can work with reiki in our everyday lives.…

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